Ok where do I begin? and how would I know its me? I'm Michael Griffin, not that Michael Griffin, nor that Michael Griffin and not as I can tell related to Kathy Griffin and so on and so on...so many me and only one I can claim.
My predicament begins on that magical of all search engines google, (oh btw never ever google google, I dont know what could happen to the space time continuum, maybe nothing or, maybe something like feeding gremlins after midnight) I was searching my name just to see if my exploits were getting the placement they should be. I hit enter and bam! right there on the screen, magically in front of my face I can't even recognize me. I am now a huge football player for the Tenesse Titans, hmm I dont recall where I put the paycheck for last season and I'll be damned if I haven't really bulked up. Ok, Michael Griffin Tennessee Titans that's not me, how did I get locked into this?
The countdown continues, Oh, here's Michael Griffin, I open it up and bam, it hits me like a rocket! I'm now the director of N.A.S.A. holy crap! I don't even recall going to college, sure I've driven by a few of them but, nope never went and now when I google me, I'm not only a rocket scientist I am the director of the whole shebang! whoohoo, Ok, Michael Griffin N.A.S.A. that's not me, how do I escape the launchpad?
Ok, this comedy of errors has got to have some release,,another result, I slowly open my eyes in trepidation and its.....wait for it....wait for it.....Kathy Griffin! now to be fair I'm pretty sure she's not me and I'm not her I don't even think we are related and I get asked that question a lot! However she is the Comedy Queen, no joke and I've been called the Escape King, so somehow she ended up on Michael Griffin and no offense to the other Michael Griffins but its a lot nicer to have Kathy Griffin end up on me then Michael Griffin end up on me. Ok, Kathy Griffin that's not me, how do I pick this lock?
Finally! escape the jail of so many Michael Griffins heres me, I came up on the search,,,yup this Michael Griffin I recognize. I remember being hung by the neck on the back of a horse, I remember escaping the from the box Houdini owned at the bottom of the ocean, I remember escaping handcuffs under the ice in Ohio,,,heck I even remember being tied up by none other then the King of all media Howard Stern last year on America's Got Talent...Ok, Michael Griffin America's Escape Hero that's me How do I wrap this up now?
Michael Griffin, footballer I'm ok not having to run from other guys hell bent on hurting me. Michael Griffin, N.A.S.A. I'm ok not having to worry about getting something up and having it come down. Kathy Griffin, queen of comedy I'm ok not having to wear all those gowns, although if your reading this Kathy it would be cool to join you out on the town. Michael Griffin, me I'm ok being me, getting out of jails legally, surviving harrowing close calls with death,,,helping people to smile with magic,,,,,Yup for all the Michael Griffins on google today Im happy Im me Im happy to say......